The special dish-minced meat with tears; The expatriate which ‘YOU’ you are?

This story is about expatriates. “Minced meat with tears”—what type of dish? First and foremost, as I already stated, this is a special dish—no, it is a really special dish. Cooking this food takes a long time, not months or years; it takes a decade or more, and practically all family members are unlikely to participate. 

Expatriate, The remittance sender

It’s not a dish; it’s a story. No, it’s not a story. It’s a fact of life. A true picture of the lives of thousands of expatriates. Those who left their families spent one thousand, two thousand, or three thousand rupees and flew thousands of kilometers to Saudi Arabia, the UAE, or any other country in the Middle East as an expatriate. From that distant Pakistan, India, or Bangladesh, they have come to seek happiness in a different country, in a different environment, in a different culture—to change fate, to catch the golden deer called a job. But the job is not even an hour away. If the work is not to the liking of the senior, then he is dismissed in the morning and taken to the airport in the afternoon. This is the life of expatriates. Along with cleaning the dirt, sewers, and roads of the Middle Eastern countries, whose bone-breaking hard work has built many structures, including the sky-high buildings of the Middle East, today, I will tell you about some of the lives of two Saudi expatriates, some sad realities, and some cruel destinies. Those who are called remittance senders in their respective countries. Called the hero of the country’s development. These are just words; in fact, they are oppressed everywhere.

Arabic restaurant and pathan staff

I was having lunch in an Arabic restaurant. Although it is an Arabic restaurant, the management and staff are all Pakistani expatriates. Pakistani Pathan. Pustu-speaking people in Pakistan are called Pathans. I had some Pathan colic. Out of all the people I have met and interacted with in my expatriate life, the Pathans seem to be a bit more aggressive in their behavior! Once, a Pathan was questioned about this, and he embarrassed me with his answer. The man was saying in a hoarse voice that both friendship and enmity with the Pathans were risky.
I ask again: why?
He said that if there is animosity, life is in danger. And if you make friends with Pathan, it causes problems in the anus.
I could not understand at first, but within a few moments, it became clear to me that he was pointing to homosexuality! I don’t know how many Pathans do this, but the man’s voice was very confident and proud! Since then, I have tried to avoid pathan as much as possible.

Not money; character is important.

Just sit down after ordering food. Most of the restaurants in Saudi Arabia have chairs, tables, and flooring systems for eating. But most people eat while sitting on the floor. Today, the floor is full. I am sitting at the table. Most of the people are expatriates here. The chair next to me was empty, and there was no chair on the other side of the table. As soon as I sat down, a gentleman pulled the chair next to me and asked, Is anybody here? I said, No, you can sit. The man muttered as he sat down and said again, Less and more, everyone has money. Character is important; people’s character is in great decline these days. Meanwhile, my food arrived. I ordered colored rice and a quarter of a chicken, It’s called khabsa or swaiya in Arabic. I invited the man. He said, You start; my order will come now. I said, as long as it is not coming, you can eat from here if you don’t mind. The man said ‘no’ again. I asked the waiter for a salad and started eating. The restaurant was full of people, and the waiter was very busy, so after three times, I got the salad.

Special dish-minced meat with tears

Raw tomato sauce on one plate, cucumber, and cabbage salad on the other. The busy waiter did his duty by placing the sauce plate next to me and the salad plate opposite. I noticed the man taking a cucumber from my salad plate and putting it in his mouth. I was hesitant to touch the salad plate since I was eating directly with my hands. By now the man’s order had arrived—potato curry with mince and thick bread, called tamiz in Saudi. I noticed that the man was putting bread in his mouth and his tears were falling in the curry dish! The scene makes me upset! After some hesitation, I asked, Hello sir, may I know what happened to you?
The man said in a broken voice, of course he can. Just why you, I think – every expat needs to know this. Because it didn’t just happen to me, it happens to most Expatriates.
My curiosity was piqued. I asked again, what happened?
The man asked me, how long have you been in Saudi Arabia?
After a while, I said, You can see I’m getting old!
Asking the waiter to give him another plate of salad, and then he asked, to be specific, how many years?
I said over twenty.
I have more. I am the third of five siblings. The first ten years passed for the marriage of the two elder sisters; the younger brother and sisters studied, and then they got married! In the next ten years, I got married and built a home. Thirty-three years have passed in my expatriate life, and I’m old now! I could not raise children; brothers and sisters say, What have I done for them? The wife says how many days were spent with her. this is the expatriate’s story!

Expatriate; Which ‘YOU’ you are?

‘You’ is used in three ways in Urdu and Bengali. In Urdu, ‘aap’ (you) is used to express respect, ‘tum’ (you) to express love or affection, and ‘tu’ (you) for peers or friends. “Tu” is used more to abuse! Similar words are also used in Bengali.
I saw the man’s tears in the curry dish! I feel guilty. I said, Can I ask for another plate of salad?
He said, No, no. Pathan’s words lack modesty. If you want another plate of salad, they will insult us!
I said I would pay extra for the salad.
He said, No, it’s enough; I’m sick; I can’t eat anymore!
I said, Are you sick?
No, not much. I haven’t eaten since last night, so my stomach hurts. And there is nothing I haven’t done in Saudi Arabia. I think you better know about expatriate jobs. I ate on the ground and slept in the dust. What have I not done for this family and my brothers and sisters? I washed dirty dishes in the restaurant for years and years. I did eighteen to twenty hours of duty—I did not leave even on Eid! Now the brothers and sisters say, What have I done for them? Before, I was ‘aap’ (respected you) for them; now they call me ‘tu’ (you, abuse)! the bullshit life! Meanwhile, I can’t work as hard as before. You don’t have to tell about the situation in Saudi Arabia; as long as you say ‘yes’, ‘yes sir’, you’re good. Even by mistake, if you say ‘no’, then you are “mafi cois” (not good)! You will get fired and sent straight to the airport! You can see that from Riyadh to Taib, 800 kilometers are empty! We don’t want full citizenship rights. But after a certain period, at least no one except the government can evict residents and do the job wherever they want. What will I do if I return to my country? I’m old; who employs me? No one offers us a job at this age. We have forgotten our own culture, and this country never accepts us! Now we are incompetent everywhere!
I do not know where I am! The world seems stable. I felt like I was alone in a restaurant during rush hour! Mr. Expatriate washed his hands and came to me and said, Don’t mind, I have paid your bill.
I haven’t gotten back yet. Still puzzled, I just asked him, Where are you from, sir?
He said, Karachi.

Moyahar; the hot water

The place is called ‘Moyahar’, and that is where I initially worked as an expatriate. In Arabic, hot water is known as ‘Moyahar’. This place is known as ‘Moyahar’ because hot water emerges from the center of the stone there. It’s a miracle. The water is so hot that the eggs boil in 15 to 20 minutes.

145.4 fahrenheit temperature

Our company has a dam development project near Mayahar. The company employed approximately 150 to 200 expatriates. It was so hot there that if you left your rubber slippers outside around lunchtime (12-1 pm) in July and August, you couldn’t put them on without using cold water from the fridge! Either slipper will melt with your feet. Being in a hilly area, there was no mobile network or electricity facility. The company would turn on the generator after seven and switch it off at five in the morning, whereas our duty was from six in the morning to five in the afternoon! After the duty, we sat out of the room chatting about the expatriate’s life and other topics.
I befriended a man named Abdul (pseudonym) there. Abdul’s home is in North Bengal, in Bangladesh. Chatting was going on outside when the generator went off. Because it is impossible to sit inside the room without air conditioning! Abdul and I sit and talk together unless we start the generator. Once, Abdul was very upset. He was crying, but he didn’t say why he was crying that day, even when asked repeatedly.

Irrational talk

After two days, Abdul said he needed a break in his expatriate life, So he wanted to go home.
I said, go.
“Yes, I will,” he said.
I understood that something had happened to him. But at the same time, I understand that he doesn’t want to talk about it. That’s why I didn’t ask anything. Then we do not sit for a few days. We are all busy. Busyness makes you forget yourself. A week later, he was sitting with me again. I asked, When are you going to the country?
He said that he would take leave in a few days. Is there some kind of inertia in his speech?
“I said,” “Is there a problem at your home?”””
“I’m finished,” Abdul began to cry. I can’t comfort anyone; it could be because of my weakness or pragmatism. I am 22 or 23 years old. I was still not married. At one point, Abdul’s face stopped crying, but the moisture in his eyes did not decrease. I am also shocked. I have never seen a man cry like that before. I tried to explain to him that every problem has a solution. Go home; everything will be alright.
At one stage, Abdul said that his wife was having an affair with another person. He got this information from one of his confidants! I don’t know what to say. After a while, I asked, How long ago did you come from the country?
He said eight years.
How many times have you been home in the last eight years?
Not even once!
There was silence again. The day ended long ago. Abdul did not stop crying. At one point, I broke the silence and said, Should a married man stay abroad for so long without a wife?
He said, What should I do? 600 riyals is my salary. Meals cost between 200 and 250. What can be done with the remaining money? The company paid for it after three months. It took a long time to pay off the loan! It is necessary to pay family costs.
I said again, Go home; everything will be fine.

Going on a six-month vacation, but returning within three months

Suddenly, one day, I saw Abdul standing in front of the office. I asked, Have you spent the whole holiday?
He said no.
Disappointment in the voice. I didn’t ask more. Salam exchange is only. I took him to the room. When we sit together again a few days later, we talk a lot. But the shadow of despair is covering his eyes while talking about his family! Immediately, I started talking about his son. Say something about your son.
He said, “Good.” He is in class two. Roll number two.
I repeat, roll number two: good student.
He said, Yes, good student. I do not know how long it will be!
I said, Why?
It is very difficult to bring up fatherless children in our society.
But your son has a father.
He said, There doesn’t seem to be much difference between a father being abroad and dying. What else can we do for the family other than send some money every month? Just money is not needed to raise a family and children; better guardians are most important.

Viagra: The Chained Sex Life

After a few days, when we talked again, the topic of his wife came up in the conversation. He said that the information he had received about his wife was a hundred percent true! After hearing his words, I asked, with a surprised tone, is your wife involved in physical relations with another person?
Yes.
How do you know?
I asked her, and she admitted it all! She said she made it by mistake and would never do it again.
I could not understand what to say. Doing these things is an unforgivable crime in our society. But Abdul was speaking in a normal tone. I was silent for a while and asked, and your wife said, Never make such a mistake again.
Yes.
Do you believe her?
No.
What will you do now?
What else should I do? Nothing to do for me. If I divorce her, then who will raise my son? I came here after two years of marriage and left everything to go abroad. The boy was just learning to stand; now he is eight years old. I could not do anything for them! How will I blame my wife? She has physical needs. Why is a girl bonding with another boy after leaving everything in their marriage? Fathers cannot raise their daughters. Did I fulfill her requirements?
I said thousands of girls still have husbands abroad, and they patiently wait for husbands. Abdul is not saying anything else. She might be crying. I can’t tell if there are tears in his eyes. I lost the courage to look into his eyes. What kind of life have we chosen? Helplessness can consume people like this; it was previously unknown! Abdul started muttering again. I left my wife and children and came here with full youth. I could not bear the weight of that full youth. I used to masturbate whenever I wanted. I don’t know when I finished everything! This time I went to the country and understood. I went on a six-month vacation and, after three months, returned. Do you know why? I have been taking Viagra for the past three months. My sex life now depends on Viagra! Suicide is a big sin in Islam; otherwise, I could choose my way! Abdul started crying. I lost my senses. After some time, I was transferred to Riyadh. Due to a lack of a mobile network facility, it was not possible to keep regular contact with Abdul. Later, I heard that he had also been transferred to another project. This is a story from 12 years ago. I don’t know where Abdul is today, how his family is going, or whether the boy has become a good person. Although there are countless stories hidden in the lives of every expatriate, I wish Abdul to be well and happy wherever he is.